i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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