just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Is it penis luge time yet?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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