yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
