ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
