Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize