i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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