I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
