you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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