Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
