They should really pass out barf bags in church
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
