Nicole vs. Life
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
