Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
