Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
