do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
a search helicopter?!
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
