Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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