Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
