I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
