Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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