that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
