TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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