I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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