Non-Jews are for practice
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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