Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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