i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize