party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
