Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
