There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
