The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize