Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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