Someone shit on the floor
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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