i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
