Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I party with great urgency now.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
