I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
