Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
