Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
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