We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
