I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm jealous of your bromance
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
