I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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