I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize