is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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