Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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