So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
