My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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