Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
She announced her abortion via fbk
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
