i just wanna soil my oats bro
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize