I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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