You're my little dorito
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
