Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
