i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
