I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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