No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
The adults are the big ones right?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
