It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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