He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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