Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Moan for me like Helen Keller
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
