I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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