Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So much rum. So many feels.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
