we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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