She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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