Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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