That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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