this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
