True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I believe in your delicious
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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