I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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