I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
