Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
